The Place Between Places
by SaturnianWildcat
Summary: The Devil and a Jesus figure walk into a bar… ….or how Ryo woke in the place between places and met Kaworu, someone who knew more than a little about time loops, true love and failing your purpose.


The last things Satan remembered were beautifully terrible and terribly beautiful things. First came the crescendo song, a song of praise and wail of suffering sung in a world-ending harmony. Then came a white fire that felt cold and hot at the same time as it incinerated the Earth, the universe and finally, Satan himself. And of course, the bitter smell of burning feathers.

But it was fading fast like a bad dream. All he could remember now was being uncomfortably warm but here, wherever here was, was pleasantly cool. Satan almost wanted to curl up with his wings around him and sleep. He was so tired and vaguely sad, for a reason he could not recall.

But something, or someone was watching him.

He stood, reflexively flaring his wings. His watcher sat a few feet away in a bench, hands clasped and giving him an inquisitive look. Seeing Ryo stand, he smiled and greeted him, "Hello,"

"Hello…." Satan trailed off, honestly the slightest bit unnerved by the boy. In such an empty place, he was out of place merely being there. But there's was something…off about him. He looked young, certainly younger than how Satan appeared. Whatever off about him was something more than his silvery hair, too pale skin and eyes the color of spilled blood. The boy hummed, "How curious…a visitor."

Satan ignored him for the time being, opting to investigate his surroundings. They were in a train station that stretched as far as he could see in both ways, silver fog obscuring whatever might be at the end. The walls and ceiling were glass, showing the outside was an endless expanse of space. There were too many stars in the sky. Satan would know, he was there when they were put there. An orbiting ring of what appeared to be blood moved slowly above, accompanied by the moon, which was cut in two and blood-streaked. If he looked below it, an asteroid belt was below them. Somehow though, the area was lit by an ethereal light, casting everything in an eerily normal glow.

"I haven't had a visitor in…" the boy paused, "…well, forever!"

"Where am I," Satan cut to the chase, his voice low and dangerous.

The boy seemed a little off-guard but it lasted for only a moment before he said, "This is the place between places, specifically time loops."

A ghost of recognition flashed through Satan, "Time loops?" he echoed.

Now the boy was caught off-guard. He blinked in confusion, "You don't remember? You're here and you don't?"

"If I did, I wouldn't have been confused," Satan snapped back.

The boy sat up, his elbows set on his knees and his hands pressed together as if he was praying. He mused, "Either this is your first loop or you've specifically been made to not remember."

Satan knew exactly who would do this. He couldn't sense Him here but that wouldn't stop him from giving Him a piece of his mind. He turned to the window, a snarl on his tongue.

"Wait!" the boy called, standing to his feet.

"I might be able to help! Granted, I'll be forcing you to remember and the other times someone like me has tried this it wasn't…" he grimaced, "…pleasant for the one being affected."

Satan walked up to him, his arms folded. "It can't be that bad," he demanded.

"I beg to differ—"

"Do it."

The boy grimaced but didn't argue. He raised his hand, it glowing faintly. He pressed just the finger tips to Ryo's forehead before the world exploded into an overwhelming white light, a chorus singing in triumph in the background…

…he was Satan, God's favored, Lucifer the Light bringer!

Or was he God's punished son, the Devil, thrown from Heaven for his transgressions?

The leader of the demons? A school boy? A professor? A snake? A friend, a foe? An enemy, a lover? Angel, demon, human?

Was he Satan or was he Ryo Asuka? Both, neither, something else? Who was he?

"My friend Ryo!"

He was alone, in a house that didn't feel like his own, demons prowling around the corner. He hefted his shotgun, ignoring the fear in his bones-

No, he was in the jungle. It was a hot night, not because the humidity but because a raging fire. He thought he knew this person but humans didn't look like that.

No, Hell was colder than he thought. This wasn't his ultimate punishment but it was one, nonetheless.

"Why are you crying…? I'm not crying."

"Yes, you are! You're crying too!"

His eyes burned, his cheeks were wet.

"No, I'm not…why? Why am I crying? There's no love or sorrow so why?

Why am I so sad?"

The neon lights were like a false sun, shining upon a display of debauchery that would fit more into the nine circles of Hell. The air was heavy with smoke and sweat and other things more unmentionable. His hands were sticky and warm, crimson red. Was this his blood or someone else's? Before he could ask, pain exploded in his side and then there was pain everywhere.

"I did this for you!

I made you into this so you'd survive!"

Everything hurt. Somewhere above him there was the tearing of flesh, the gnashing of teeth, the flapping of wings. The air was heavy with the iron scent of human blood and the sulfur scent of demonic blood. No…

Neither a man, nor Amon. Neither human or devil yet both. A violent union made to protect and protect it did but—

The world was panicking. The streets were full of violence and blood and pain. Were the true devils those of mismatched parts, stolen facts, bloodied feathers? Or were the true devils your fellow man? Perhaps, the true devil was cloaked in white.

He remembered who he was. Sometimes it was a flash, sometimes it was a stare. Sometimes it accompanied white light, sometimes it accompanied a rainbow of light. But every time, he came to the same conclusion. And he went though with it every time, over and over and over—

It's over.

"Why aren't you speaking?"

It's over.

"Don't leave me…"

Accept what you've done. Over and over and over—

"You're sleeping, huh?"

No, he's dead. Over and over and over—

Over and over—

Over—

"Akira!" Ryo shrieked, jolting away.

He stumbled only a few steps away before his knees gave out. He didn't bother moving from where he crumpled, wings wrapped around him as a shield away from the world. Sobs escaped him as his mind tried, and failed, to make sense of the visions. It was too much so it fixated on the final, most fresh memory.

Which was the corpse of Akira Fudo, killed by none other than Ryo himself.

How could he forget Akira, much less everything else? But yet, remembering hurt so much more.

When he finally recovered enough to move, he looked up. Where he had left him was the boy, fidgeting in place as if he wanted to do something but wasn't sure if he should. He babbled, "I'm sorry! I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't insisted! I should have known…"

Ryo stood, picking himself off the ground. "It's fine," he said, even though he didn't feel it.

Suddenly, he felt remarkably human and thus, exposed. He wished he had a coat. And as if a guardian of this place heard him, an outfit consisting of a white button-up, slacks and a white trench coat appeared on him. He chalked it up to the liminal magic of the place and offered his hand to the boy, "I'm…"

He paused, pondered, then made a decision, "I'm Ryo Asuka."

The boy's ethereal smile settled back onto his face and he took his hand, "I'm Kaworu Nagisa."

Ryo looked around the place and said, "Time loops, huh?"

He looked back at Kaworu, who smiled still and looked completely at ease with himself. He had done that weird thing to him. "What did you do to me?" he asked.

Kaworu turned his head to the side, "Remember?"

"No, I…" Ryo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I mean, how did you that?"

"Oh! I used my AT Field to reach into your mind and bring those memories to the forefront. They were still there, just behind a block of sorts," Kaworu explained, as if he expected Ryo to understand. He did for the most part but it was obvious that there truly was something off about the boy.

"Right. Next question. What in the hell did you do for God to punish you?!" he asked, throwing his arms up. The boy looked fresh into his teens, memory powers or not! Not to mention, he looked like he'd rather catch a fly than harm it.

"Oh well," Kaworu rocked on his heels, "Not so much God as myself. I had a purpose to fulfill and I failed it because there was something else so powerful it overrode my purpose."

He sighed, his eyes dreamy, "I fell in love."

Right. Still, it felt eerily familiar. Rejecting a purpose, punishment and falling in love. Sure, love didn't condemn him to this fate. It always came too late for that. Still, it felt too close. "Are you an angel?" Ryo asked.

"An Angel?"

The two stared at each other. Ryo narrowed his eyes. "Well, perhaps a different kind of angel," Kaworu chuckled, "What are your breed of angels like?"

Ryo flared his wings as he explained, "Angels are beautiful and terrible where I come from. They look a lot like you'd expect except with six wings. I, however, have ten."

"So how you'd find on the stained glass windows of a church?" Kaworu asked.

"Eh, basically," Ryo shrugged, slightly insulted with the comparison.

Kaworu chuckles, "My breed of Angels? They're something rather hard to comprehend and I cannot describe us as a whole since we're all different."

"You're pretty easy to comprehend," Ryo couldn't help but snark back.

Kaworu furrowed his eyebrows, "Well, I just happen to look like a Lilim. Anyways, we're not so much biblical messengers as otherworldly beings."

"Aliens, got it. So why call you Angels?" Ryo sat back on the bench, folding his wings to have some semblance of comfort.

"Well, that's just what the Lilim ended up calling us. Bit ironic, considering," Kaworu explained as he sat by him.

"You know, you're awfully cryptic. How about give me the whole story?" Ryo asked.

"A story for a story. I tell you why I'm here and you tell me why you're here," Kaworu suggested.

Ryo pondered it. On one hand, he wanted to hold it close to his chest, as if letting it go would see any happy ending fly out of his hands. On the other hand, he probably should say something. "Alright," he agreed.

Kaworu's story started in the cold expanse of space, nothingness where most creation tales began. Except instead of a God, there were two different Mothers who landed on a planet they shouldn't have. The Mother of the Angels, Adam, was struck with a fail safe that rendered her dormant. With no opposition, the Mother of Humanity, Lilith, created the first life with her blood.

Fast forward to the year 2000, where a group of humans made contact with Adam, seeking the beginning of godhood. Ryo thought it ridiculous, humans achieving godhood. Wasn't God terrible enough? Kaworu went on, how this contact began the terraforming of Earth, wiping it of Lilith-based life until it was stopped. On that day, he was born.

Fast forward 15 more years, and the Angels were awakening, looking for their Mother. Most didn't want to harm humanity, only to reunite with their parent and to fulfill a purpose that drove them forward. Humanity fought back with weapons made from the stolen flesh of an Angel, the "Evangelion" which was piloted by 14 year olds. 16 Angels came and died and then it was Kaworu's turn as the final Angel, the Angel of Free Will. And by this time, there was only one pilot left to fight, a one Shinji Ikari.

Shinji, Kaworu explained with a dreamy expression, was a shining example of humanity in all their fragility. Kaworu empathized with him and in turn, loved him. When the time came to Kaworu to reunite with Adam, he had been duped. He came to a decision: to allow humanity and Shinji to live, he would die, at his love's hands no less.

Then he woke up here.

Then, as if he hadn't just recounted how he died, he turned to Ryo and asked, "So what about you?"

Ryo felt uncomfortable, not because of Kaworu's apparent casualness towards his situation. No, his story was a flip side to Kaworu's. Instead of sacrificing himself for humanity, he wiped them out. Instead of dying by his love's hand, his love died by his. Did he want to admit this? Kaworu's patient expression urged him on and suddenly, he was opening up.

Ryo's tale was more biblical. In the beginning there was light and from this light came him, God's favored. Before humans, before anything else there were the demons, the rulers of the Earth. But for humans to exist, the demons were deemed unable to coexist and God prepared to strike them down. Satan pleaded otherwise. He saw a strength in the demon's single-minded violence, a strength he argued proved they should exist. He wouldn't bow to anything lesser.

The fact he was cast out showed God did not agree. But this wasn't the catalyst.

The catalyst was, upon awakening with the demons, he saw humanity and decided to wipe them out before he went onto Heaven. So he wiped out humanity and was wiped out in turn. And it continued to repeat until he woke up here.

Kaworu found his story…lacking. He glossed over the final genocide of humanity and it felt like…he wasn't telling the whole story. So he asked, "What's the rest?"

"The rest?" an expression of despair flickered over Ryo's face before he made it forcefully neutral.

"You broke down when you remembered. Granted, it was traumatic but if you killed humanity with no remorse, you wouldn't have felt as bad," Kaworu pointed out.

Ryo's wing feathers puffed up, like an angry cat, and in one fluid motion, he stood up and turned to tower about Kaworu, "That was it!"

Kaworu was unfazed, "You can't bury what hurts where you think it will no longer hurt you. It will fester and rot and hurt all the more."

Ryo wondered what would happen if he swung at Kaworu.

"Let me put it more bluntly. Who is 'Akira'?"

It felt like everything stopped and Ryo drooped, his quick burst of righteous fury fizzled out. "How did you hear that name?" he asked.

"When you 'awoke' from your chance, you screamed his name," Kaworu's voice was softer now.

"Akira was…one of the few good humans. He was always there, always loyal and cared so much. He followed me and trusted me and I hope, loved me. If I asked him to follow me through Hell, he wouldn't have done it, no matter how frightened he was. I wanted to protect him but you know what happened?"

Before Kaworu could ask, Ryo practically howled, "I killed him! At least, with the rest of humanity, it was impersonal! Either they were collateral damage or a demon killed them or even their peers! But no, Akira was the only one," he glanced at his hands, imagining them covered in crimson, "He was the only one to die by my hand."

He wrapped his wings around him, cutting off Kaworu and the entire world. "Ryo—" Kaworu began.

"No!" Ryo cried, "Go away!"

* * *

There was no way to tell time here. The sky moved but it wasn't consistent. The stars winked in and out sometimes, changing color or brightness or disappearing all together. The moon, the asteroids and the streak of blood did not change, as static as those who stayed there. It was always lit in a twilight light, never going any brighter or darker. Kaworu sat by the window, humming a familiar tone, lost in thought when Ryo returned and sat by him. The angel asked, "How long will I be here?"

"When you're ready to return," the Angel replied.

Ryo sighed, "Figured as much."

"Don't feel bad, I'm not ready either."

Ryo looked at Kaworu. He was more pensive than usual, one hand pressed to the glass. "What happened last time to you?" Ryo asked.

Kaworu grimaced. Even the mere thought brought him back to it—the crackling of the DSS Choker activating, the eerie howling of Eva 13 awakening, the realization that he had failed all over again. And there was Shinji, hands pressed to the glass as he pleaded for him not to go. "I felt like I was closer than ever before. This time, he'd be happy. But, what I thought was our salvation was a ruse, and the world began to fall apart," one of his hands ghosted over his neck, "And I had to die to stop it."

It was quiet again until Ryo spoke, "Last time was…odd. It was similar to the first ever time, I remember that. But there were key differences, one of which being I didn't feel…as much. So in the end, when I realized I loved Akira and what I had done to him and the world, it hurt all the more."

He looked out across the expanse of space, imagining an intact Earth out there, "I'm afraid of what God will throw at me next time."

"You have an advantage. If the end of the world is your fault, if you don't go through with it, wouldn't He be pleased?" Kaworu asked with a tilt of his head.

"I….don't know. I don't actually know if this is my eternal punishment or merely a way to get me to change. I don't know if He'll give me another chance. The humans say He's a loving God but…I don't know. He wasn't all that loving to me."

Ryo paused, then admitted, "I'd hope He loves the humans enough to not wipe them out Himself if I refuse to. If that's the case, I'm my own worst enemy."

* * *

Five minutes or five years might have passed before they struck up conversation again on anything but reminiscing. "I half-expected you to be gone," Kaworu remarked.

At Ryo's withering glare, he added, "Not that I don't enjoy your company, I just imagined you'd be ready to try again. I was."

"It's because you're an optimist," Ryo shot back and Kaworu went silent, a true feat. Ryo would be lying if he said he didn't feel smug.

Kaworu shrugged, "You're right, I suppose."

"Anyway, I know what I'm getting myself into. I need to go sometime," he sighed, "Waiting changes nothing."

"Well, a lifetime here is not even a moment there. You can afford to wait," Kaworu said.

Ryo's lips quirked up into an almost, barely there half-smile, "Well, I'd like to see Akira. My last memory of him…." his expression fell, "It's not pleasant."

He shook his head, "I don't want to fail anymore. Akira doesn't deserve it."

Kaworu frowned, knowing all too well how he felt, "I can't fault you for that."

* * *

"No more waiting! I've leaving today," Ryo declared, not much longer after.

"Alright, I'll go then too," Kaworu agreed, with his trademark ethereal smile.

Ryo paused then realized what he meant, "Hey! Were you waiting on your ass on my account?"

Kaworu smiled wider, "It would have been cruel of me to leave you alone."

Ryo turned away, his pride diminished ever so slightly. Any other reply he might have had was drowned out by a long wailing train horn. Down the track came a golden light and rattling echo. A gilded white train rolled into their station and stopped. With a sigh, its doors opened. "Well, I guess you are leaving today," Kaworu commented.

Ryo approached it, apprehensive. This was it. No going back. Even if he felt unprepared, his soul must have known the truth. "Good luck!" Kaworu called behind him, having come to his feet for his farewell.

Ryo made his final decision and braced himself against the door. He called back, "Good luck to you too. Maybe I, er, maybe we'll get it right this time."

He turned and smiled, "I better not catch you here again!"

Kaworu was taken aback then laughed, "Alright, I'll try my best not to come back! I better not see you here again too!"

Ryo entered, a true smile on his face and the doors closed behind him. As the train left the station, he felt himself falling asleep. He hoped he woke up in a world where he and Akira could be happy.

Kaworu sighed but the smile did not leave his face. Despite his fear of failure, he felt his own silvery train would arrive soon. Maybe, just maybe, he'd get it right this time as well.


End file.
